


My Name Is...

by SnailArmy



Category: The Mechanisms (Band), Ulysses Dies at Dawn - The Mechanisms (Album)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Crack, Gen, if not slightly less, referenced and terribly butchered greek myth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:35:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22564852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnailArmy/pseuds/SnailArmy
Summary: Jonny gets curious. Ashes gets shot.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 94





	My Name Is...

The Mechanisms had been in the City for a few years now, finding their feet and getting settled in. Ashes had done the best for themselves, that much was obvious, so the rest of the crew that remained planet-side often found themselves lounging at their penthouse suite for want of anywhere better to be. It was on one such occasion that the subject of Ashes' new name came up; it wasn't uncommon for a Mechanism to use an alias or _nom de plume_ on a new world, but there was often a story that went with the decision. Old friends, lost loves, a brand of whiskey they particularly missed. You know, the usual. 

Jonny was the one to pop the question. "So it's Hades now, huh? Not sure I've heard that one before. Where'd you pick it up this time?"

Ashes looked him up and down for a second, sly grin forming on their face. "Tell you what. If you can bring me the Eye of the Fates, I'll tell you the story." The Eye was a legendary thing, almost certainly rumor; a single camera, controlled by the three women who allegedly pulled the strings of destiny for every denizen of the City. To go searching for it would be a fool's errand. All the more fitting, then, for Jonny. 

The first mate grumbled a bit and went back to his drink and conversation with von Raum about some nasty plague currently ravaging the lower levels. It seemed Ashes' price was too steep for him. 

One evening late the next week, however, he showed up once again at their doorstep, this time with a leaking burlap sack over his shoulder. As Ashes met him in the lobby, he dumped it unceremoniously on the carpet. Over the floor rolled an outdated security camera and three heads--old, wizened, and with faces full of terror.  
"Wasn't sure which one you wanted, so I got all of them, just in case," Jonny said with a smug grin. "Not that I care, or anything. I was just bored." 

Ashes kicked at one of the heads nonchalantly. They hadn't honestly expected Jonny to succeed, but hey, a deal's a deal. Gently, they beckoned him closer, and when their lips were barely touching his ear, they whispered: 

"Hades Nutz lmao gottem"

Early reports that the new, upstart Olympian had been shot to death in their home were quickly proven to be wildly inaccurate, despite the bullet casings, blood, and multiple eyewitness accounts.

**Author's Note:**

> this is really fucking stupid and i'm sorry but i couldn't get this joke out of my head


End file.
